I went to Red Cliffs Resort for a solo get away. They offer daily hikes. This is me up on top!
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Friday, April 20, 2012
2nd LT Burns
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Day of the Witch
OH MY! You know it is bad when the dentist tells you that he would be happy to give you a break and take your ASD 9 year old for a few hours. Did I look that bad??? I was trying to get Ty to do his homework all the while to the dentist and while we were waiting. Oh not so fun.
By the time I got him to school around 10:30 this morning - I really never wanted to see him again. After school we started on the mountain of his homework. Math, which thankfully his teacher said he could use a calculator on (bless her). But tonight was also culture night at the school which all of us wanted to go to. But he had 2 spelling assignments to finish and the rewrite I was requiring of him from this morning. I was hoping we'd make it, but nope -- he turned out to be incredibly difficult. "Why????" questions turned into lovely threats, "you know when we are in Arizona, I am not going to rescue you from rattle snakes." etc. etc. etc. I somewhere around 6:30 pm wised up and decided I just needed to check out from him and not talk to him for the rest of the evening -- preventative measure on my part.
It was miraculous, he slowly but surely began to do all his assignments correctly and to check in with me to show off his work. I went in the other room and read a book about never intending to turn into a witch mother. The spirit began to return to our home. Side note - I do think the spirit has been much more generous with me and forgiving of all of my craziness during this single parent episode. I have also felt the comforter more than I ever have before -- sometimes I feel it come even before I need it, like in anticipation for whatever is going to hit me next.
Back to the story, around 8:30 (mind you we have been doing homework since 3:30), he finished. This time confident, proud of his work, and ready to share with me.
He crawled into bed next to me and we chatted about why he likes crystals and gem -- come to find out, it is because of the color and that you can see through them, and the fact that they are rocks. We then talked about his favorite things of being a fourth grader. He said it was because he had the best teacher. I asked him what he meant, he said, we get to paint and sing and learn things the fun way all day long. I asked him what he remembered learning -- he talked about the musical, he talked about how he wished he had a speaking part and how he would add a character that talks about how you have to know math to know how to read (nice integration, proud mom here!)
I asked him again, what else do you like about 4th grade. Again he said my teacher. I had to dig to get to friends etc. I then said, "It sounded like Mrs. B. had a hard day." He said, "yah, I'm going to show those kids." Worried I said, "how?" He said, "I'm going to do my part and make that musical so good, that's how I'll help Mrs. Berry and show them."
So the day ended much better than it began. Sometimes you have to follow your gut. He even said that it was much more important that he should go to culture night. I had to tell him that I loved him so much that it was much more important that we talk nice to each other and that to be able to do all the great things I know he is going to do in life, he had to practice doing good things.
So nice to love him again and not want to send him off to the dentist.
By the time I got him to school around 10:30 this morning - I really never wanted to see him again. After school we started on the mountain of his homework. Math, which thankfully his teacher said he could use a calculator on (bless her). But tonight was also culture night at the school which all of us wanted to go to. But he had 2 spelling assignments to finish and the rewrite I was requiring of him from this morning. I was hoping we'd make it, but nope -- he turned out to be incredibly difficult. "Why????" questions turned into lovely threats, "you know when we are in Arizona, I am not going to rescue you from rattle snakes." etc. etc. etc. I somewhere around 6:30 pm wised up and decided I just needed to check out from him and not talk to him for the rest of the evening -- preventative measure on my part.
It was miraculous, he slowly but surely began to do all his assignments correctly and to check in with me to show off his work. I went in the other room and read a book about never intending to turn into a witch mother. The spirit began to return to our home. Side note - I do think the spirit has been much more generous with me and forgiving of all of my craziness during this single parent episode. I have also felt the comforter more than I ever have before -- sometimes I feel it come even before I need it, like in anticipation for whatever is going to hit me next.
Back to the story, around 8:30 (mind you we have been doing homework since 3:30), he finished. This time confident, proud of his work, and ready to share with me.
He crawled into bed next to me and we chatted about why he likes crystals and gem -- come to find out, it is because of the color and that you can see through them, and the fact that they are rocks. We then talked about his favorite things of being a fourth grader. He said it was because he had the best teacher. I asked him what he meant, he said, we get to paint and sing and learn things the fun way all day long. I asked him what he remembered learning -- he talked about the musical, he talked about how he wished he had a speaking part and how he would add a character that talks about how you have to know math to know how to read (nice integration, proud mom here!)
I asked him again, what else do you like about 4th grade. Again he said my teacher. I had to dig to get to friends etc. I then said, "It sounded like Mrs. B. had a hard day." He said, "yah, I'm going to show those kids." Worried I said, "how?" He said, "I'm going to do my part and make that musical so good, that's how I'll help Mrs. Berry and show them."
So the day ended much better than it began. Sometimes you have to follow your gut. He even said that it was much more important that he should go to culture night. I had to tell him that I loved him so much that it was much more important that we talk nice to each other and that to be able to do all the great things I know he is going to do in life, he had to practice doing good things.
So nice to love him again and not want to send him off to the dentist.
Monday, February 20, 2012
I need to go to sleep
The person who said this is so wrong!!! "If you love someone more than anything, than distance only matters to the mind, not to the heart."
Timon's FHE Lesson
At the last minute I assigned T the lesson for FHE tonight. I hit burn out at about 7 pm. He came up with the coolest object lesson. He sprinkled a bit of dirt into a glass and then said that this was like the celestial kingdom where no unclean thing can dwell there because then it would all be dirty. Cool kid!
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Woofers Taroo
Yesterday I remember staring at my almost 10 year old. I was sitting on the couch and I remember thinking, "when did he get so tall and when did I get a 10 year old?" Because of his autism and how much work we have done together, I haven't spent much of his life wishing it would slow down, or that we could linger a little longer. Actually most of his life, I let out a long breath once melatonin kicks in and I know that he is sleeping until 5 am tomorrow morning. But suddenly I looked at him and was amazed that we got to this point.
Tonight I can hear the dog upstairs that is not happy about being shut in the bathroom while his owners are out and about. It reminded me of the stuffed dog I got for Michael before we had kids. I used to have this thing for stuffed animals - not that I had lots, but a few sentimental ones. I think it must have been after Sept. 11th in NY. I can't really remember who would have "woofers taroo" - I'll have to ask Michael when he gets back. I can't remember if it was the person who left or the person who stayed when traveling. And who knows maybe it changed all the time. Anywho, tonight I actually wanted to get up and go in Duncan's room and find Woofers. I got lonely.
For the first two weeks of this active duty I was strong and focused, went to bed early, lost 6 lbs by eating perfectly and working out. The third week I got depressed thinking that this could really end up being my life for long periods of time, and this last fourth week when the car needed fixing, the tires needed purchasing, the storage stuff needed moving, the oldest needed more understanding, the house needed a locksmith scaling the balcony, and the house desperately needed cleaning - I kind of hunkered down and read books about people much more unfortunate than myself, but also much more good natured and humorous as well.
I've actually made some real efforts not to feel too much emotion this time around. But tonight, I miss my dear sweet partner. Not any one particular thing, but just miss him. I miss sharing my life with him in a very real teary sort of way. I miss being able to look at him and say, when did we and our kids get so old? I miss sharing a spiritual lesson I've learned or just looking at him next to me or putting my head on his chest. I know I'm supposed to be stronger 10 years later, but if I weren't so tired, I'd go track down that stuffed dog, just to have something to hold on to - Woofers Taroo.
Tonight I can hear the dog upstairs that is not happy about being shut in the bathroom while his owners are out and about. It reminded me of the stuffed dog I got for Michael before we had kids. I used to have this thing for stuffed animals - not that I had lots, but a few sentimental ones. I think it must have been after Sept. 11th in NY. I can't really remember who would have "woofers taroo" - I'll have to ask Michael when he gets back. I can't remember if it was the person who left or the person who stayed when traveling. And who knows maybe it changed all the time. Anywho, tonight I actually wanted to get up and go in Duncan's room and find Woofers. I got lonely.
For the first two weeks of this active duty I was strong and focused, went to bed early, lost 6 lbs by eating perfectly and working out. The third week I got depressed thinking that this could really end up being my life for long periods of time, and this last fourth week when the car needed fixing, the tires needed purchasing, the storage stuff needed moving, the oldest needed more understanding, the house needed a locksmith scaling the balcony, and the house desperately needed cleaning - I kind of hunkered down and read books about people much more unfortunate than myself, but also much more good natured and humorous as well.
I've actually made some real efforts not to feel too much emotion this time around. But tonight, I miss my dear sweet partner. Not any one particular thing, but just miss him. I miss sharing my life with him in a very real teary sort of way. I miss being able to look at him and say, when did we and our kids get so old? I miss sharing a spiritual lesson I've learned or just looking at him next to me or putting my head on his chest. I know I'm supposed to be stronger 10 years later, but if I weren't so tired, I'd go track down that stuffed dog, just to have something to hold on to - Woofers Taroo.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)