OH MY! You know it is bad when the dentist tells you that he would be happy to give you a break and take your ASD 9 year old for a few hours. Did I look that bad??? I was trying to get Ty to do his homework all the while to the dentist and while we were waiting. Oh not so fun.
By the time I got him to school around 10:30 this morning - I really never wanted to see him again. After school we started on the mountain of his homework. Math, which thankfully his teacher said he could use a calculator on (bless her). But tonight was also culture night at the school which all of us wanted to go to. But he had 2 spelling assignments to finish and the rewrite I was requiring of him from this morning. I was hoping we'd make it, but nope -- he turned out to be incredibly difficult. "Why????" questions turned into lovely threats, "you know when we are in Arizona, I am not going to rescue you from rattle snakes." etc. etc. etc. I somewhere around 6:30 pm wised up and decided I just needed to check out from him and not talk to him for the rest of the evening -- preventative measure on my part.
It was miraculous, he slowly but surely began to do all his assignments correctly and to check in with me to show off his work. I went in the other room and read a book about never intending to turn into a witch mother. The spirit began to return to our home. Side note - I do think the spirit has been much more generous with me and forgiving of all of my craziness during this single parent episode. I have also felt the comforter more than I ever have before -- sometimes I feel it come even before I need it, like in anticipation for whatever is going to hit me next.
Back to the story, around 8:30 (mind you we have been doing homework since 3:30), he finished. This time confident, proud of his work, and ready to share with me.
He crawled into bed next to me and we chatted about why he likes crystals and gem -- come to find out, it is because of the color and that you can see through them, and the fact that they are rocks. We then talked about his favorite things of being a fourth grader. He said it was because he had the best teacher. I asked him what he meant, he said, we get to paint and sing and learn things the fun way all day long. I asked him what he remembered learning -- he talked about the musical, he talked about how he wished he had a speaking part and how he would add a character that talks about how you have to know math to know how to read (nice integration, proud mom here!)
I asked him again, what else do you like about 4th grade. Again he said my teacher. I had to dig to get to friends etc. I then said, "It sounded like Mrs. B. had a hard day." He said, "yah, I'm going to show those kids." Worried I said, "how?" He said, "I'm going to do my part and make that musical so good, that's how I'll help Mrs. Berry and show them."
So the day ended much better than it began. Sometimes you have to follow your gut. He even said that it was much more important that he should go to culture night. I had to tell him that I loved him so much that it was much more important that we talk nice to each other and that to be able to do all the great things I know he is going to do in life, he had to practice doing good things.
So nice to love him again and not want to send him off to the dentist.
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